February 7, 2017
If I asked you about connectedness, what would come to mind? Love, family, friendship, community would pop up for me. That connectedness can be disrupted by voluntary acts: you break up, you move away, you disengage – or are subjected to those actions by the person(s) you’re close to. Hurts, but can be handled.
Then there are the external forces that impose forced disconnection in the most brutal ways.
War. Prison. Illness.
I do not have to spell out the ravages of war.
Prison came to mind not only because it has become a for-profit industry in this country that has seen skyrocketing stock values – note the date, November 9th! – a day after the election…
but because of this If you ever wondered if imprisonment in this country is about rehabilitation not just retaliation, think through what it means not to be able to make/afford phone calls to stay connected to your family.
The majority of us, reading these musings, are likely to be safe from these two causes of violent disconnection. The third one, not so much.
Disease can force you apart.
Mild versions: Anyone who’s ever dealt with a bout of cancer knows the feeling: you can’t stand some people and cut them off, because they are just too hard to be around in their overbearing ways. Some people, in reverse, cut you off, because they feel awkward, don’t know how to talk to you, or don’t want to be confronted with thoughts of their own fragility. Or you are just too exhausted from chemo to maintain a social fabric that includes more than the most intimate people.
Strong versions: Depression. The clinical kind, not our garden variety-bouts in dark Portland winters. Here are words that describe it better than I could – put it on your to-read list: http://www.tabletmag.com/jewish-arts-and-culture/books/223625/depression-classic?utm_source=tabletmagazinelist&utm_campaign=fa20efbdf9-EMAIL_CAMPAIGN_2017_02_06&utm_medium=email&utm_term=0_c308bf8edb-fa20efbdf9-207667521
And then there is Alzheimers. A few days ago I would have said it is the emperor of disconnection. But then I had the privilege to visit with a couple that is going through the worst cruelty of loss of self and recognition in an advanced stage of the disease for one of them. But I SAW connection. I saw hands reaching out, an occasional spark in the eye, a determination to be connected by the healthy spouse. I do not know if that spouse has a choice to stay so close or not: love might be too strong, a sense of responsibility too ingrained to give up; choice or not – I was in awe how human dignity is expressed and maintained in a connection combating the evil of that illness. Man, does that give me hope.
Renate Funk
What a contrast to yesterday’s YDP! One showing shiny faces and amazing African textiles, the other a somber palette, fantastic collages and darker human conditions. Both so powerful! Thank you, Friderike!
Alice Meyer
With regard to imprisonment, yesterday’s NYTimes headlined that the “New FCC Chairman Wastes No Time . . . . [among other efforts] in dismantling net neutrality, stopping discounted high-speed internet access to low-income individuals and withdrawing an effort to keep prison phone rates down, among a dozen egregious actions, “many buried in the agency’s website and not publicly announced.”