December 18, 2018
The yiddish word to kvetch refers to whining or complaining. A fun book by Michael Wex gives a good introduction: Born to Kvetch: Yiddish Language and Culture in All Its Moods. It contains nuggets like this: “Judaism is defined by exile, and exile without complaint is tourism.” If you don’t trust me, read this review…. https://www.nytimes.com/2005/09/28/books/to-provoke-in-yiddish-try-how-are-you.html
So let me kvetch today: What is a woman to do when her art did not make it into an exhibit she had put high hopes on? Particularly when said exhibit was juried by someone whose curatorial eye she greatly respects? And concerned a theme, environmental threat from climate change, that is a focus of her work?
Why, eat a bag of Fritos and go for a long walk. Preferably simultaneously, although my camera is starting to complain about all the crumbs. Alas, the conversations in my head prohibited an escape from the emotional sting…
“Why not join the flock of sheep,” say the sheep. “Just fit in.” “I’m not a sheep,” say I,”I’ve always done my own thing. And besides who wants to have starlings on your back, stealing your persimmons treat.
“Why not join the gaggle of geese,” say the geese. “Just get in line.” “I’m not a goose,” say I, “goose-stepping not desired.” Besides, why walk across the road when you can fly?
“Why not try it straight up,” whispers the landscape, “your work is so obtuse.” “I’m not a photographer per se,” I whine,” I do montages. No matter how many straight lines I put in, the images are complicated.”
“You’re just a speck in the landscape” hollers the eagle, “just like I.” “Which is my point, say I, ” a tiny speck in a sea of artists. But is that so because of the numerical odds, or because the quality of my work is just not up to par?”
Imaginary exchanges aside, what is the psychological basis for such self doubt? In my professional and academic life, I never suffered from impostor syndrome, the belief of successful, high achievement people that they are in fact frauds who have managed to dupe their way to the top. (It used to be thought of as a female problem, which more recent research shows to be false. Men experience that syndrome too, and are hit harder by its negative consequences for performance, as it turns out.) The link below is to the classic Clance and Imes paper that paved the way, still quite informative.)
http://www.paulineroseclance.com/pdf/ip_high_achieving_women.pdf
But I face a different scenario: rather than doubting the roots for existing achievement, there is doubt regarding the possibility of achievement in a new domaine. Doubt despite the fact, as kind friends point out, that recognition has already happened in the few years that I have been at it, expressed through numerous solo shows and feedback from artists I admire, who do not know me personally. Doubt that reminds me of the days as a professor when you had the entire class give you the highest points on evaluations and one single student dissed you in most aggressive ways. All that stuck, for days, was that negative comment; just like last week’s rejection for the exhibition blotted out the shows I was admitted to this year.
So much about art is amorphous, contextually charged, subject to ever changing tastes, rooted in familiar processes (of which mine deviate), Zeitgeist-dependent. Knowing all that why still the attribution to a potential failure of my personal ability? You tell me. I need to get back to making more montages.
Photographs today were taken on Sauvie Island last Thursday.
Martha Ullman West
Okay, lady, I’ll tell you. These photographs are drop dead marvelous and there isn’t a single one I wouldn’t want to have on my wall, and as you well know wall space is at a premium in my apartment. Because I am the daughter, granddaughter, niece and mother of visual artists, and only my grandfather was what could be deemed successful in his lifetime, and now he is largely forgotten. The point is, it seems to me, are YOU satisfied with the photomontage you submitted for this exhibition? That’s what matters isn’t it? And presumably you wouldn’t have submitted it if you weren’t. So. I’ll tell you a funny story here about an artist’s revenge: in the Forties we spent summers in Provincetown and my father would submit work to the Provincetown Art Institute for their juried group exhibitions, as would my grandmother. One year, her work was accepted, his was not. That summer he made a painting of the Blessing of the Fleet, with signal flags. The following summer he submitted that painting to the Art Institute and it was accepted. He went in one day to check it out and the director of the gallery told him they had never had so many of the Portuguese fisherman come in to look at the exhibit, they stood in front of Dad’s painting and roared with laughter, and she wondered what was so funny. The signal flags read: If you don’t take this painting, f… you! This was 1950 when that particular obscenity was really shocking in this country. Now stop kvetching and make some more work.
Steve T.
Right on the money, Martha. I’ve almost given up making artworks, and something inside me is tapping on my heart: Never mind your failures, you ninny. Get back to work.
Sara Lee
I had the exact same response to a (single) student course evaluation quite a few years ago. Which explains why I never read student course evaluations for the last fifteen or so years of my career….
By the way, today’s photos are, in my view, wonderful!
Mike
Hi, Friderike–
I have yet to enter any photographic competition that provided feedback explaining why one’s work was rejected. And only one that explained why it was accepted. That leaves all the rejected applicants free to explain it to themselves, an opportunity par excellence for self-doubt and self criticism, just as you have so vividly described. To counter these dark thoughts, I like to imagine challenging the hermetic jury with an open Salon des Refusees for excluded works, inviting our friends, and and basking in their enthusiastic appreciation. Even better, when that juror saw our show, scales would fall from their eyes and they would praise our extraordinary insights and artistic nuance!
Lee Musgrave
Yep, there is only one answer and it is always the same answer for every artists through all the ages . . . . get back into the studio, make more art and show it to more people. That is the only way to find those who understand and appreciate your point of view and art.
Keep in mind that studies have repeatedly shown that most successful people (artists included) only get a positive response 10% of the time . . . which means that if you enter 100 competitions and your work is selected for only 10 of them you are doing great.
Plus, I know for a fact that there are lots of non-art reasons why many works never get full consideration and end up getting rejected for totally non-art reasons.
Oh, and keep smiling . . . it makes life easier . . . really, it takes 4 times more muscles to frown than it does to smile.
Susan Wladaver-Morgan
I read your blog and look at your gorgeous images with my breakfast (and miss it on weekends, so sometimes I reread ones I especially liked). They nourish me every bit as much as the food and start my day so richly. Kvetch if you need to, but know that your art enriches all who see it.