October 12, 2018
This week’s report on one of the loveliest weddings I ever attended will conclude with a few observations.
Observation #1: Everyone is a photographer now, although they all leave their cameras behind while on the dance floor…..
Or they check on the images immediately….
Observation # 2: I cry at weddings. Never mind that I know the political roots of the institution, the oppression it was associated with for many centuries and in many cultures. I am moved to pieces when I look at a happy couple, so full of hope for the future, and families merging, differences be damned.
Observation# 3: People always throw around these statistics that marriage improves your physical and mental health, assuming there is a causal relationship. It is indeed the case that compared to singles, married people live longer, have fewer strokes and heart attacks, recover faster from them if they get them, are likely to survive cancer longer, and have fewer incidence of mental health issues, particularly depression. But these findings have to be looked at with caution because they are largely correlational. That means any number of other factors could account for them.
For one, there is a gender differential. Men profit from marriage much more than women do when it comes to health effects.
Secondly, people in unhappy, stressful marriages are way worse off than singles who have a good friendship support network.
Third, people who have already compromised health might not get married in the first place, and so when they have worse outcomes for coronary diseases it is because of their original health status, not their married life. Isolation leads to depression, and it is the absence of any partner/family network rather than the marriage status that might account for higher rates of depression in singles.
The effects also seem to solidify when a marriage lasts for a long time, (counted as 10 years and up), while the positive effects are not pronounced in shorter marriages. With this said, my current favorite bride and groom will have a long marriage, excellent health, no regrets that they tied the knot and will live happily ever after.
My current favorite singles, on the other hand, can also rejoice: there are nifty benefits out there:
https://health.usnews.com/wellness/mind/articles/2018-02-12/5-health-benefits-of-being-single
And just think: girls night out whenever you want!
i’m giving the last word to Mozart’s Marriage of Figaro:
